The Post In Which Steroids are No Longer an Issue

Aaaaahhhhhhh, October in the Bronx. Yankee fans come filing into New Yankee Stadium to watch their team's inagural playoff game. If only the Minnesota Twins could have been as happy as them. The Yankees were freshly rested and rearing to go as Derek Jeter personally dismantled the Twins and said "Hello world! I am the MVP!" the Yanks fired on all cylinders and the Twins had no idea how to stop it. The crowd was into the game early after a Jeter two run homerun, and they never let up. Kate Hudson could be seen beaming with pride from the stands as she watched her boy toy conjure up 3 hits or so. (Yankee fans could be heard groaning as they cought sight of her) The Twins were never able to recouperate and ended up losing 7-2. It could be argued that god must be a Yankee fan, because he really, really, REALLY screwed the Twins by making them play today. Game two of this screwfest will be on Friday where I can't imagine the Yankees not winning.

You Ain't Happy Less You Got One

The time has come at last! Smell that fresh outfield grass! Feel the soft, warm infield dirt! Yes, the NLDS has arrived at last. As a proud Dodger fan, I, along with many others, were finally able to watch the Dodgers steadfast refusal to clinch the NL West come to an end behind the stupefying left arm of Clayton Kershaw. Whatever joy I was feeling was to be short lived however, when I learned that Albert Pujols and his Cards would be coming to town. Meanwhile I also observed the Detroit Tigers pull one of the more epic chokejobs I have ever seen. The Minnesota Twins were able to end their time in the Metrodome on a high note as they stole the game in extra innings. There was celebrations galore in the clubhouse, until they were reminded that yes, they would now have to travel to the Bronx. That however, was not the worst news the Twins received. No, they were then informed that they would be playing the next day against a freshly rested Yankee lineup. Yea, that can really suck the fun out of any celebration.
For now, let us travel back to the west coast and look ahead to the coming Game one Dodger Cardinals matchup.
Some Dodger faithful might tell you that the sky and oceans are blue because god is indeed a Dodger fan. If we look deeper, we then realize that no, god must not be a Dodger fan, because if he was he wouldn't have sent the Cardinals here in the first place, and he most certainly wouldn't have decided that it would be Chris Carpenter to start game one. What we now have learned is that god must actually be a CARDINALS fan. (Or a Yankee fan, but that will come later.)
At first glance one might say "Well, the Dodgers had a good run. It was fun while it lasted."
But wait! Upon further examination we learn that the Dodgers are not completely hopeless against the all mighty Cards!
After what I'm sure was many hours of careful deliberation and thought, Joe Torre saw fit to begin his umpteenth playoff run behind the arm of veteran left hander Randy Wolf. This is a good decision by Torre being as he doesn't have all that much to work with. Chad Billingsuck would do just that, Hiroki Kuroda is apparently hurt (again!?) Stultz can throw a knuckle ball and nothing else, Padilla is not a game one type of pitcher, and Clayton Kershaw can not pitch both games (as much as we might want him to)
Wolf is the veteran of the group, so we can suspect that he will be less susceptible to nerves than other Dodger pitchers. Wolf can't possibly be expected to win this game on his arm alone, so the Dodger's must get their big bats swinging early. The Dodger bat's come into this game limping, but they seem to be determined to start hauling in the runs. Batting is a whole other thing in the playoffs and the Dodgers should be helped by the return (return!?) of Andre Either.
The Cardinals obviously have all the tools to smash and sweep the Dodgers under the carpet. They have one of their best pitchers, they have an lineup that includes the human homerun machine Albert Pujols, and the rabid fanbase. If the Cards want to bypass this Dodger team without a second thought, their pitching has to perform. If the Dodgers power hitters get going early they could easily take a game. The Cardinals were able to manhandle the Dodgers in the regular season (with the exception of two games which if I'm not mistaken were won by messers Randy Wolf and Clayton Kershaw) despite a sup par Pujols. All in all, I think that this is going to be a close game. If the Dodger bats get going, and their pitching is able to hold, don't be surprised to see the men in blue take this one.

-Kylie

Taking My Baby To Sophistication

My poor neglected blog! Oh well, I vow that I shall not let this happen again! Today we are reaching new levels of sophistication here at Ranting and Raving with the top 10 hottest QB's in the NFL.

10. Mark Sanchez-Now, I'm not exactly sure what it is I see in Mark Sanchez, being as I loathe the Jets with a passion. I'm thinking it has something to do with my love of all things southern Californian. In a blog that I was reading the other day, the author of a particular post stated that " USC recruits Abercrombie models and turns them into NFL like football players." which is the absolute truth. How else can one school get so many good looking quarterbacks?

9. Drew Brees- Once upon a time, there was a little girl. This little girl was young and stupid and had a desperate hope that the Philthydelphia Eagles would win an NFC divisional playoff game against the New Orleans Saints. This girl had a strange thing for Jeff Garcia which could not be explained. That girl was me. And to this day I can not explain what I ever saw in Jeff Garcia or his igglets. Alas, it was not all in vain as this game did teach me how hot Drew Brees is. I'm not gonna lie, its that scar/birthmark thing on his cheek that draws me in. It acts as a sort of dimple of sorts in my opinion.

8. Joe Flacco-If I could only get at this man with a pair of tweezers!! It would do such wonders! He's got everything to become one of the hottest QB's out there, except for that stupid unibrow thing that lingers above his eyes! Speaking of eyes, he's got some nice ones. I'm a sucker for a tall guy with dark hair and great eyes and Flacco is no exception.

7. Tom Brady-Brady is certainly not worthy of this lowly number seven spot, but I put him here because of general hatred and him being a scumbag. Brady has all the looks to be a number one, but I just can't get past that stupid cocky facade he calls a personality. ("We're only gonna score 14 points? hahahahah" *Que vomit sounds*)

6. Matt Schaub-This is is the inexplicable pick. I could sit here and talk until I'm blue in the face and not be able to tell you what it is I see in Matt Schaub.

5. Eli Manning- This is the semi-homer pick. Yes I have to put my beloved QB on this list but he does have the looks to merit a spot. Eli is obviously the more fortunate of the Manning brothers as far as looks are concerned (Be jealous Peyton) He has that cute boy next door who just happens to be an amazing quarterback kind of appeal.

4. Phillip Rivers- Eh, I have some

hesitance with this one. For one I'm not crazy about his southern accent (no offense intended to the lovely people of the south) and I really don't like the Chargers due to a Charger fan brother. But you look at him and you can't deny it. The man is hot. He's got everything required to make me swoon plus he's a great quarterback.

3. Matt Ryan- I'll be the first to admit that when Matt Ryan first came out I didn't think he was all that attractive. As time passed and as rookie quarterback records passed, I came to realize that Matt Ryan was truly quite good looking. There was actually some study done recently that ranked NFL quarterbacks on their hotness based on facial semmetry. Matt Ryan apparently has very good facial semmetry as he was ranked as the NFL's hottest quarterback.

2. Matt Cassel-It's becoming quite obvious to me that I have a thing for men named Matt and USC quarterbacks. Matt Cassel may have had to wait to get his start in the NFL, but it was worth it to unveil his good looks on the universe. He's got it all-dark hair, tall, pretty eyes ect. Much like my number one hottest quarterback...

1. Trent Edwards- Yea, yea, yea. I know all about how is quarterbacking skills are sub-par. But there's no denying that this boy has the looks. I've heard some knocking his new hair, but I personally find it really, really, really hot. It brings a whole other demention to a man who I thought was honestly not that good looking when he first came out.

And that was my list dear readers, and I understand that we all may disagree.

-Kylie

I Believe!

BYU has always had inexplicable things happen to them. They've had everything from timely blocked Field goals, 13 second miracles, and 4th and 18 conversions. But nothing could quite compare to the inexplicable miracle that was BYU's win over #3 Oklahoma.
The game started off with OU having problems with penalties , most commited by their right tackle #70, Cory Brandon. The BYU defense forced the punt (OU has a punter?!) and put the ball in the hands of their offense. Max Hall was able to hand off the ball well to Sophmore running back Bryan Kariya which was really all he had to do on the first drive. Returned missonary McKay Jacobson also made his presance known with some nice catches. It was also Jacobson who would be partly responsable for BYU falling behind. The BYU defense forced another OU punt after OU continued to shoot themselves in the foot with penelties. Jacobson then proceeded to fumble said punt and give OU the ball in BYU territory. Sam Bradford, being the Heisman trophy winner, was able to drive the OU offense and score to make it 7-0. It was Bradford, who would ultimatley become the biggest story of the game. It started off innocently with Bradford dropping back to pass. He was then hit by BYU linebacker Colby Clawson. Bradford went down on his shoulder awkwardly and came up looking to be in obvious pain. It would later turn out that he had an AC shoulder sprain and would be out for 2-4 weeks. The game continued however, with Bradford only being able to watch from the sidelines. The game was a stalemate until late in the fourth quarter. BYU drove the ball down and took the lead on a touchdown pass to McKay Jacobson to make the game 14-13. OU had one more chance to keep its place amung the top 3 in the country. They drove the ball down, but were forced to kick a field goal. The crowd held its collective breath as it watched OU kicker Jimmy Stevens botch the winning score.

-Kylie

We Gotta Get It Right Back To Where We Started From

If there is one thing Dodger fans could learn from this season, it would be the fact that no matter how bad you may be doing at one point, it won't always be like that. With the game on Saturday against the Reds, we saw the Dodgers getting back to the winning form that they used to have. The starting pitching was a little rough, but it has been all season.
The game started off with Manny hitting a 2-run home run to drive in Rafael Furcal and make the game 2-o L.A. Mark Loretta added to this total with an RBI in the second inning. Then before you could even blink your eyes the game was 4-0 L.A.
Then came the third inning.
It started off fine, until the Reds came to the plate.
Dodger pitcher Charlie Haeger managed to give up four runs (Two of which were home runs) in the span of the bottom of the third inning. And by this time he only had one out. So veteran Jeff Weaver was sent in to get those dang outs and end the endless inning. If you are going to watch this game on tivo, I recommend fast forwarding to the seventh inning. With the game at 5-4 Dodgers after a Rafael Furcal solo shot, the Dodgers blew the game wide open and reminded Dodger nation that yes, it is possible for them to score runs. The scoring started with a Juan Pierre RBI to make it 7-4 Dodgers. Then came Matt Kemp's 3-run home run to make the game 10-4 Dodgers. Then to put the icing on the 6 run cake, Orlando Hudson hit a solo smash to make it 11-4 Dodgers. This was the final score as the Reds were not able to retaliate.

We've Only Just Begun!

Finally! The Giants played their first pre-season game of the season on Monday vs. the Carolina Panthers. Here are my thoughts from the 24-17 Giants victory.

1. Having Osi Umenyiora back is huge for the defense. They missed him last year and now that he's back he is going to make everyone around him look better.

2. The receiving core is going to be better than people will think. Domenik Hixon and Sinorice Moss looked better than expected and showed the ability to consistantly catch the ball.

3. The running game is still at a top notch level. They aren't going to miss Derrick Ward.

4. Eli Manning looked good, but didn't have to do a lot. Most of his snaps consisted of handing the ball off.

5. Hakeem Nicks and Ramses Barden had good moments, and they had rookie moments. Neither one even came in the game until the third quarter however.

-Kylie

Just Got PAID!

This post is dedicated to the newly rich Eli Manning. Yesterday Manning agreed to a contract extention that is reportedly worth $ 97 Millon for six years. Honestly, I'm glad they got this out of the way. It's nice to not have it hang over your head throughout the season. Did I honestly think he would become a free agent? No. He's the franchise QB and the Giants aren't about to let him go anywhere. Now the only thing that Eli has to do is make himself worth all this money. Now ideallically, it would be nice if he were to prove himself worthy of all this by winning a championship, but let's be realistic. The G-Men have a tough schedual and there is a lot of unknowns with the recievers. So, I think in the long run he will prove he's worth what he's being paid. I just don't think that it's going to show instantly.

-Kylie